We made it!

I’m referencing the one year mark – we’ve hit our first anniversary! We spent the weekend in Savannah, Georgia – it was a quaint little town full of tiny squares and large eccentric people (I’m not talking about the size of the people although the food was “home cookin’”, if you know what I mean). Although the weekend had the good, the bad, the highlights, low points and the unexpected – it was so nice to rest with our first year behind us.

No one tells you the first year of marriage is going to be easy but no one tells you it’s going to be so hard. I was reminiscing with a friend last night at dinner when I told her that the healthiest place I can be in our marriage is when I give up control of what it’s supposed to look like and feel like and let go. It’s also the scariest place I’ve ever been. In my single life, it was easier to control – I could hold on to what was important to me and walk away from what wasn’t…and for the most part, no one saw my every move. But, in marriage, it’s quite different. Not only do you have someone that is watching you so intimately and studying your heart but they are affected by the decisions you make – which also compel the other person to want to control you. And, the humor of all of it is that the Lord, in most cases (very much the case with Roy and me) has knit together two utterly different individuals and has not just asked but commanded them to live fruitfully together.

I read an article today comparing a road trip to marriage. He also mentioned that in his 30 years of marriage he’s realized that what you need most in marriage (patience, empathy, humor, adventure, romance and PERSPECTIVE) is what you have least of getting started. That’s probably why so many marriages fail within the first three years. I have grown so much this year. If this is just a small portion of what is to come then I’m in for a wild ride.

I’m crazy about him, though – even more then on October 4, 2008, the day we married. He told me this weekend that his favorite part about the last year of marriage was having a friend (some days). My favorite part was having someone to crawl into bed with at the end of a long day. This past year, I’ve tapped into patience, grace and forgiveness that I didn’t know the Lord would grant me – these were always qualities I wanted to build but never wanted the foundation to have to. I’ve also come to appreciate qualities in another person that are so unlike me. I’m grateful to look forward to the next 50+ years together (although Roy says he’s kicking the bucket with or without me on our 40th Anniversary).

A toast to our second year of marriage!